


One Good Soak

by enemytosleep



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Hot Springs & Onsen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-03
Updated: 2011-09-03
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:22:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enemytosleep/pseuds/enemytosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emperor Ling (he has a palace with natural hot springs - what else do you expect?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Good Soak

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bob_fish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bob_fish/gifts).



> **Prompt:** [](http://bob-fish.livejournal.com/profile)[**bob_fish**](http://bob-fish.livejournal.com/) for [](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/profile)[**fma_slashfest**](http://fma-slashfest.livejournal.com/) - _The Emperor's idea of international diplomacy involves rather more nakedness and hot springs than you'd expect - unless you've, you know, met him._    
> 

"Would you like me anything?" the girl asked. Her accent was thick, and her meaning not as clear as Ed would have liked: having had a group of handmaidens walk in on him earlier to offer their assistance in getting dressed, he was more than a little dubious every time one of Ling's servant girls popped up out of thin air. They seemed to do that a lot too. Was it something all Xingese people were born capable of - like folding one's tongue - or was it some weird imperial training Ling put them through?

"Mr. Ed?" she asked sweetly. Oh yeah, he should probably answer her before she tried to give him something he didn't want.

"I'm good," he said quickly. Her dark eyes rose as she smirked - were royal handmaidens allowed to smirk? What the hell kind of palace was this anyway? Then he remembered this was _Ling's_ palace. Anything was fair game.

"Will His Majesty be joining us tonight?" Mustang asked.

"Yes. Soon," the girl answered, giggling and looking like she knew something they didn't. Ed grumbled a little under his breath. She glanced his way, then bowed low and said, "I will be outside. Please call if you need me." Again with the vague needing of _her_ and not her services, which on second thought, were probably one in the same knowing Ling.

The girl shuffled out of the room and let the curtain fall shut behind her. The visual of being closed in made the room suddenly feel more stifling and cage-like. Ed made a disapproving noise as he wiped the condensation from his arm.

"So, _Mr. Ed_ , will you stand and scoff all night, or will you join me in what is quite possibly the world's most luxurious onsen?"

"I'm not getting naked anywhere within the palace walls. No way."

"Who said anything about naked?"

"Those girls outside with the buckets, as if you don't remember." Mustang had only complied too happily to that request. "Don't pretend you didn't understand them either!" Mustang quirked a brow and tilted his head in a mocking manner, but Ed was taking this bait. He'd learned a few key words of Xingese in his time with Ling, and "naked" had most definitely been one of them.

Mustang shrugged his shoulders. "It's your loss," he said, letting out a relaxed sigh as he leaned back into the steamy water.

"Yes, Ed, it really is quite silly that you'd miss out on my famous imperial hot springs. There are none like them anywhere in the entire expanse of Xing! It was something about the minerals - Ed you will know more about that than me! Even with the growing popularity of _paotang_ , you will not enjoy a spring as soothing and cleansing as my own. Not to mention these are my very personal baths. I don't share these with just anyone!"

Ed realized his mouth had been hanging open. "Ling, when did you get here?"

"Just now!"

"And how did you get into the hotspring unnoticed?"

"You were never very observant, Ed, I remember on our travels, back when I still had Greed with me…" Ling trailed off and looked rather sentimental. Actually, Ed felt a little misty-eyed too now, though he would totally blame it on the steam should Mustang try to call him on it.

"Your Celestial Majesty, I'm honored to be a guest in your palace - and to your personal baths. I had no idea this was the case. If I had-"

"Stop kissing his ass," Ed cut in, "he probably planned it this way so he could get us both naked, because he knew he'd never get it to happen without tricking us." Mustang's brows shot up and Ling feigned insult. "Don't pretend it's not true!" Ed shouted, jabbing a finger at Ling.

"Ed, you were always a very tense person: you need to relax!" With that, Ling clapped his hands, and a flock of colorful handmaidens fluttered in from all sides. "Once you soak, you'll feel better. You don't even have to clean first - that's very generous of me, now isn't it?"

Ed briefly recalled the buckets and ladles Mustang had to work through in order to gain access to the springs. Ed had marched straight past them all, fully clothed. Before Ed could come up with a witty remark, the maidens were surrounding him, grabbing at his clothes. "Hey!"

"Relax, Ed, it will be easier if you do. Trust me!"

"Like that's the first time you've said that to me!" Ed said hotly, then blushing furiously at the admission. He'd somehow totally forgotten about Mustang for a moment, though having dozens of tiny hands attempt to strip you might do that, Ed reasoned.

In an absurdly small matter of time, Ling's servants, who were each approximately the size of an eight-year-old child, had somehow managed to work off all of Ed's clothes, and were now herding him toward the spring's edge. Wait, he was naked in front of Mustang! Well, the girls were probably blocking the view; if he could just duck out the side and -

With an unnatural strength, the girls grabbed hold of Ed and hauled him over the edge of the water, letting him fall ungracefully on his face in the spring. He sputtered and scrabbled for footing, then stood up and tried to climb out of the scalding water in one move. The girls created a living wall of colored silk and delicate hands, preventing Ed from escaping.

Mustang chuckled loudly. Ed turned to glare at him, and discovered Ling had worked his way across the spring, and was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Mustang. Both his hands were beneath the water. Mustang seemed very relaxed, and Ling was smiling that dumb, goofy smile of his … Ed kind of missed that smile.

"Come join us, Ed. We'll help you relax."

Mustang, the pervert, did not object to this, merely challenging Ed with one of his signature mocking-you faces. Maybe it was the water - there was definitely a lot of sulphur in here, which was good for aching joints - or maybe it had just been that long.

Ed decided it might not be such a bad idea to join them. What happens in Xing, stays in Xing, right? That's what Al had said, anyway.


End file.
